You've met all five, probably this week. Meet them properly, along with the one change that stops each of them.
five villains, five fixes
You've dealt with one or more of these before. Maybe you called them different names, but we've all seen them turn a good meeting bad. So we put names to faces, and matched each one to the fix that shuts it down.
Won't give up the floor.
Always talking. Whether they have a point, or whether it's even the right time, means nothing. If they've got something to say, by George, it's getting said.
Set per-topic time limits up front, so everyone (the hog included) knows exactly what's on the table and how long they've got.
Meets about meetings.
Schedules a meeting just to talk about the next meeting. Every status update and tiny decision becomes another block on your calendar.
Status updates don't need a meeting. Meeting scores and cost analytics expose the ones that should've been an email, a call, or a DM.
Keeps the whole room waiting.
Every meeting is ready to begin and you're waiting on that one person. By the time they finally show up, the flow is completely lost.
Start on time, every time. The timed agenda starts its countdown when the meeting does, so the first topic is wrapped by the time the Hold-Up walks in. Next week, they're early.
Steers onto their own topic.
You booked the meeting to cover one thing. They show up, veer straight onto something completely different, and burn the whole slot.
A parking lot catches off-topic tangents and saves them for later, so the agenda you set is the agenda you run.
Books meetings with no plan.
Ever sat in a meeting and not been sure what it was even about? Everyone waits quietly to see where it goes. It runs long, wanders, and ends with nothing decided.
Put the agenda in the invite, straight from an agenda template, so the purpose and everyone's prep are set before anyone walks in.
You can't fix a personality. You can add the right meeting structure and take away the room these villains need to operate.
Bonus tactic: the parking-lot mascot. One team we worked with kept an Elmo doll on the table. Whenever the discussion drifted off-agenda, a manager would hold it up and say "Ok, I've got Elmo," and everyone knew to shelve the tangent and get back on topic. Pick your own Elmo. It lets anyone call a tangent without making it personal.
Want another one for your rogues' gallery? Meet The Meeting Parrot, who repeats everything everyone else already said.
Put your next meeting on a timed agenda with a parking lot for tangents, right from the calendar you already use.