How to Schedule a Meeting With Someone You Don’t Know

Give them a reason to say yes and keep the ask small. The reason is context: where you met, who introduced you, or the specific piece of their work you want to discuss. The small ask is 20 minutes, not lunch. Then offer two or three specific times, so they can say yes in a single reply.

Photo by M ACCELERATOR on Unsplash

1. What is the correct protocol to ask for a meeting?
2. How do you get the meeting without seeming like a jerk?
3. What if they turn you down?

If you’re an introvert like me, the asking is the hard part. I’ll take those questions in order.

How To Get A Meeting

1. Have Context

I generally avoid asking someone for a meeting that I don’t have context for. I define “context” as a point of reference… either you met them at an event, or you know someone who knows them, or you’re a big fan. Context is any reason valuable enough for you to reach out to them.

Request a follow-up meeting on the spot

If I talk to someone at an event, I try to get a follow up while the conversation is still fresh.

Example: “I would love to chat more about ABC, would you be interested in grabbing coffee or lunch sometime this week?” If possible pull your phone out and send a meeting invite right away.

Write a note on their business card

Make sure you write some information about the discussion on the back of the card to refresh your memory if you send out an invite later on. When you send out an email after an event, be sure to mention where you met them and what you discussed, e.g. “It was great meeting you at the fundraiser on Friday. I enjoyed chatting with you about ABC. Per our discussion, I would love to grab a meeting this week to chat more about ABC.”

Find mutual friends or contacts

LinkedIn can be pretty useful for figuring out who knows who. If someone you know has a connection with the person, don’t be afraid to ask them for an intro. e.g. “Hey Jamie, I am looking to reach out to Kris Smith to pick his brain about mobile UX. I loved the talk he posted on his blog. I saw on LinkedIn you are connected to him. Would you be able to introduce me?”

Tell them why you want the intro, so they can pass that along and the person knows what they’re agreeing to. The more specific you are, the easier the intro is to make.

Important: Do not burn someone who referred you. If someone refers you and you annoy their connection, they may never refer you to someone again.

You’re a “fan” of their work

Being a fan of someone’s work can be flattering, but it can also come across kinda creepy. I would recommend having a strong reason to reach out to someone if you’re a fan. If you aren’t able to meet the person at an event or get a referral, you have to go with the old “cold request”.

When you send a cold request, you need to be very clear about why you want to meet them. If you send an email that reads: “Hey, I would like to have a meeting with you. Thanks!” - you probably won’t get a response. Your intro should be very clearly crafted.

Example: “Hi Kris, My name is Brett Cooper and I do mobile dev work on iOS projects for a company here in Atlanta. I saw you speak last year at Web Afternoon, and I enjoyed your presentation. I’d love to pick your brain about a mobile problem I’m trying to solve around multi-screen size formats. Would you have 20 minutes for a call this Thursday or Friday? I’ll work around your calendar. Thanks!”

Notice the size of the ask. A 20-minute call is easy to say yes to; lunch with a stranger is a bigger commitment than it sounds.

2. Scheduling the meeting

So they respond back to your meeting request with “Sure, what time do you want to meet?” Your objective is to quickly get something set on the calendar.

• The calendar game - My rule of thumb is to ask for 2-3 time slots within the next 5 days. If they can’t meet any of the time slots, ask them for some alternatives.
• Target the morning - Try to get something first thing in the morning (e.g. a coffee meeting) so you are less likely to get bumped because one of their other meetings ran late.
• If all else fails, try the phone - If you are struggling to get something scheduled, ask if you can do a quick 90-second phone call to resolve calendar alignment issues.
• Pick a specific location - Try and pick a specific location near where they work or ask them if it would be most convenient to meet at their office. The more specific you are in the request, the more likely they are to say yes.
• Use helpful tools - There are a lot of tools out there that try to solve the scheduling puzzle. I would take a look at Calendly, Bookeo, or Acuity if you are trying to schedule a lot of meetings. These tools can be very useful for larger groups, but I would stick with email and the phone for 1:1 meeting scheduling. Don’t send a booking link to someone who’s doing you a favor. It hands them the scheduling work, so offer times yourself.
• The invite format - When you schedule a meeting, send out a calendar invite to make sure each attendee’s time gets blocked on their calendars.

The key things you should include in a meeting invite are:

1. Title - the Title of the meeting invite should be clear on what the meeting is about.
2. Location - Include the location in both the location field and body/comments. Preferably the address if you are driving there.
3. Summary - Have a summary of the meeting request in the body.
4. Objective - Clearly state the objective of the meeting.
5. Agenda - When you send a meeting invite, make sure to have a clear agenda (with some time-boxing). Thinking about the agenda and time boxes ahead of time will help you get a clearer picture of what you want to talk about and whether you have enough time to cover everything.
6. Notification - Be sure to include a notification equal to the amount of travel time (or 5 minutes if it doesn’t require travel).
7. Contact - Include your cell phone and their cell number (if possible). This makes it easy for them to reach you if they are running late.

Here is an example of a meeting invite.

Title: Cooper / Kris Meeting to talk about Mobile UX Challenges

Attendees: Brett Cooper, Kris K.

Location: Octane Coffee Emory Village

Reminder: 15 minutes before

Body: Kris, per our email discussion, I would like to grab a coffee and pick your brain on mobile UX topics.

Objective: Discuss mobile UX challenges on iOS vs Android

Agenda:

1. Intro and key problem areas - 5m
2. Deep dive into use cases - 15m
3. Discussion and recommendations - 20m
4. Next steps / take-aways - 10m

Contact: Brett’s cell: 855-529-6349

3. Follow-up After the Meeting

Having a post-meeting reason to discuss things is a good way to build a long term relationship or conversation.

Send a thank you email - Send a note thanking the person for meeting with you. I will also typically include any meeting notes and any action items that I took away from the meeting. I know some people who send classy hand-written thank you notes, but I have the worst handwriting… so I normally stick with an email thank you.

Try to follow up within 2-5 days - Close out any actions you took on within a week of the meeting. You want to show that you were seriously paying attention and valued their help and input.

Offer reciprocal help - Be sure to offer your reciprocal help if they helped you with something. Keep it simple: “ Tina, Thanks for your recommendations on sales frameworks, this will help me out. I owe you one. Let me know if I can help you with anything.”

Leave the door open for next steps - If someone gives you advice about a situation or challenge you are facing, send them a follow-up status in the future to show how you resolved it or how it played out.

General Expectations

• Follow up two or three times before you give up (here’s what to send, and when). More than three starts to feel like pressure.

• Don’t expect someone to work miracles for you.

• Time is a very valuable commodity, don’t waste someone else’s time.

• Get out and meet people, build valuable relationships, and help other people out… it will eventually come around to you.

• Be grateful. Life is full of people who are looking to help out where they can. Be thankful even for small amounts of help.

What’s the Worst That Can Happen?

It’s not easy to reach out to people you don’t know to schedule a meeting. The worst thing that can typically happen is that they will ignore you. I have never had someone get angry at me when I reached out to them for a good reason… and I imagine that if they did get angry, they aren’t the type of person I want to be meeting with anyway.

Practice the steps above and it will get easier to schedule meetings with people you don’t know.

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